I got a text Saturday afternoon just as Ohio State was pulling victory from the heart-wrenching jaws of defeat that read, "Please tell me why I have any reason whatsoever to feel good about our chances against USC next week."
For my predictions/thoughts on tomorrow's Showdown in the 'Shoe, please refer to my post on August 18.It should be noted, however, that our entire fan base grossly overlooked a quality Navy team heading into Saturday's game. For crying out loud, we were 27-point favorites against a team that has won eight or more games in a six consecutive seasons.
Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of that, too. While I said all along there was no way we'd cover the spread against the Midshipmen I thought we'd probably win by a couple touchdowns, at least.
Navy deserves a ton of credit. They threw the ball a lot more than our defense was prepared for and its defense made some big plays against our offense in the second half that helped propel the comeback. Mix in the novelty (and brilliant execution of) Navy's triple option offense and the writing was on the wall for an absolute dogfight Saturday, as fans we just chose to ignore it.
By comparison, The Trojans-enz played a team that has not eclipsed six wins in three consecutive seasons and has only two winning seasons in the last seven.
Speaking of competing against teams that possess scarcely a shred of respectability in major college football, Michigan and Notre Dame each posted blowout wins at home against mid-major conferences over the weekend.
Michigan routed Western Michigan 31-7 in Ann Arbor, at the same time Notre Dame was mopping the South Bend Kentucky Bluegrass with Nevada, 35-0.
Those scores disappointed me on a couple of different levels. First off, I was really hoping to be treated to a pair of humiliating defeats of the Two Teams I Hate Most in All of College Football, but what made matters worse was when I couldn't even enjoy ESPN's college football scoreboard show the rest of the night because I had to listen, time and again, to Rece Davis drivel on and on about how impressive those teams looked against their respective opponents and how that somehow again makes them relevant.
In my opinion, this just proves how far those two former powers have fallen.
Five years ago when Notre Dame and Michigan actually mattered and wins against those schools actually meant something blowout victories against the likes of the Nevada Wolfpack and the Western Michigan Broncos would have been little more than an afterthought on the highlight shows. Now, after a couples years of relative obscurity those two disgraced programs earn double-digit victories and it's newsworthy.
Looking to your right, does that look like the kind of guy that can lead a program to a BCS National Championship? The only thing Charlie Weiss is leading is the march to the local Dunkin' Donuts.
The Irish and Wolverines match up this Saturday, I hope Notre Dame wins the game 2-0 after the Michigan long snapper, on a punt attempt, snaps the ball through the endzone for a safety.
This weekend will definitely be an emotional roller coaster because of regardless of what happens Saturday night with my beloved Buckeyes the turnaround must be rapid because the Bengals open their regular season Sunday afternoon against the Denver Broncos.
I've been looking forward to the impending NFL season since the Reds dropped 10 of 12 immediately after the All-Star break in mid-July.
At this point, I'm like a single-mother in her 30's desperately seeking a young, hot stud to sweep her off her feet for a five-month passionate love affair complete with a weekend getaway to Miami in early February for the 2010 Super Bowl!
It's been so long since a favorite sports team of mine has competed seriously for a championship in anything that I longingly anticipate that nervous, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling associated with watching your favorite team play in a big game.
Consequently, I spend much of the off-season, training camp, spring training, whatever, trying to drum up a sense of sincere, unbridled anxiousness for the return of my favorite team de jour and the best way to do that is to totally manipulate myself into believing that we can seriously compete for a championship.
"We really did have a decent draft. Our defense is going to be much improved over a season ago. Carson Palmer will finally be healthy for an entire season. Chad Ochocinco will finally prove himself to be a legitimate star receiver in the league. WE CAN WIN THE SUPER BOWL!!!!"
But, here's the thing.
Everything I just told you was absolutely correct. With the glaring exception of selecting Andre Smith or as I like to call him, An Offensive Lineman's Ryan Leak, over Eugene Monroe we really did have a decent draft. Rey Maualuga will certainly add depth to an already pretty decent linebacking corp. and getting a healthy Keith Rivers back this season was like having another draft pick after he was lost for most of his rookie campaign when Steelers receiver Hines Ward broke the linebacker's jaw in week six.
I think the efforts of Carson Palmer will merit Comeback Player of the Year honors as he will have a fantastic season thanks in no small part to guys like Cedric Benson, Chad Ochocinco and Chris Henry.
Of course, it's entirely possible my pot is laced with something and I am completely full of crap; if that's the case, I'll be eating crow by week three because we're going to know early on how good this Bengals team actually is as we have an absolute gauntlet to run in the first five weeks.
The season opens up inncocently enough at home against the Denver Broncos. This is an important game early for the WhoDeys. It's not that we're going to be able to put a ton of stock into a week one victory over Denver as most pundits predict the Broncos to win only six or seven games this year.
I feel like I should mention that right now somewhere near the greater Denver area there is a 23-year-old aspiring sports columnist posing as a freelance writer typing away on his laptop into blogger a column outlining why the Broncos will be better than everyone thinks this season. This is why sports are such a wonderful thing; every new season brings all new hope.
Most pundits only forecast five or six wins for us this season, too. This means, of course, most everyone thinks Denver and Cincinnati are pretty similar on paper.
Therefore, if the Bengals this season are going to be better than a 5-7 win team, they have to beat other 5-7 win teams consistently.
Maybe I've just had too much coffee this morning.
Either way, our season opener is very significant, a win will leave me feeling like a 16-year-old boy who's girlfriend just let him undo her bra during a drive-in movie, but a loss will leave me spending all of next week in the fetal position watching "The Notebook" 12 times in a row and wishing I were Ryan Gosling.
Week two sends the Bengals to Lambeau Field for what is probably our toughest out-of-division road game all season. We'll probably walk into those hallowed grounds as underdogs, by 5-8 points, regardless of what happens in week one. To round out the month of September the Pittsburgh Steelers come to town for week three. There are few professional sports teams I harbor more disdain for than the Pittsburgh Steelers.
No, no that's not quite strong enough. There are few things I hate more in this universe than the Steelers. Honest to God, the Steelers are right up there with famine, disease, poverty and Bill O'Reilly as Nouns I Disdain Most in This Universe.
To this day, my bitter abhoration for the entire Steel City is the only thing I have in common with Browns fans.
That said, my goodness did they look strong against the Titans last night.
Losing Troy Palamalu for the better part of the next month will leave the defense a bit vulnerable, but they are still stingy against the run, those outside linebackers can rush the passer like few others and Ben Roethlisbooger (Oops. that's not how you spell it!) is borderline flawless, especially when he gets time in the pocket to throw the football.
Finally, to close out the every Friday blog from now until the end of the regular season, I'm going to pick three games a week against the spread. You know, just in case they ever legalize gambling.
Minnesota (-4) at Cleveland: The Browns didn't even name a starting quarterback until earlier this week. I told you August 21 the Vikings were the team to beat in the NFC, at least while Brett Favre is healthy. I was truly shocked when I saw the line on this game earlier in the week. Four is much too low for the Vikes in this one, even on the road.
Vikings: 24 Browns: 13
Browns fans, look at it this way, I think you'll score an offensive touchdown in this game.
Dallas (-6) at Tampa Bay: I've heard a couple different pundits claim the Bucs may be the worst team in the NFL this season. I don't know about that, but first-year coach Raheem Morris will have his hands full this year, and the headaches have already begun when Morris canned the offensive coordinator earlier this week. The Cowboys, meanwhile, are notoriously fast starters and I think the offense will roll in this game.
Cowboys: 27 Bucs: 10
The Cowboys offense will have to carry that momentum all the way through the season.
St. Louis (+8) at Seattle: The Rams were positively dismal a season ago, and despite a coaching overhaul probably won't be much better this season. Seattle struggled last season, too but a healthy Matt Hasselbeck and the signing of T.J. Houshmanzada (yes, I had to double-check the correct spelling of his last name) has many thinking the Seahawks are primed for a Miami Dolphinsesque turnaround.
Seahawks: 21 Rams: 6
Despite a comfortable win, Seahawks will have to wait until their team plays someone noteworthy before they begin predicting a division title.
So, here's to another great season of professional football. Have a fantastic, safe football-filled weekend cheering on your favorite team.
GO BUCKS....GO BENGALS!
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